The Good, the Bad, and the Funny

Crazy week this week. Among other things, we had two dentist appointments yesterday and one this morning (and all three went GREAT!)

The appointment that I was most anxious to get to, though, was Allie's "ear doctor" appointment yesterday afternoon. We've faithfully massaged Allie's ears with the peroxide every day, 10-15 minutes per ear, for two weeks. When Dr Bell looked in her ears, she was hopeful that she'd be able to remove the wax there in the office (yay, no surgery!), and we'd be able to test her hearing afterward. Allie was terrified, but we were able to hold her still enough for the doc to clean out a LOT of wax. First the right ear, and about 1/2 way through Allie started screaming "Too LOUD! Too LOUD!" I knew that wasn't a bad thing, but my heart was breaking just the same. She was screaming and crying and we still had to do the other ear. Once again, 1/2 way through and she's screaming the same Too LOUD! She was really hysterical throughout the procedure and I felt so bad for her. She was sobbing and shaking, I was shaking and trying not to sob. Meanwhile I'm worrying that I've destroyed the attachment progress that we've made this year, . . . and then getting upset that I was the one to have to take her ~ why couldn't it have been her Daddy?

I was really relieved to see how much wax the doctor was able to remove, but then Dr Bell told me that although she could see the eardrum on the right ear, and partially see the eardrum on the left ear, there was still wax in there. (not what I wanted to hear) She thought they were clear enough to go ahead with the hearing test, though, so after Allie had time to calm down we headed for the audiologist room.

I knew that there was probably still a problem with the hearing in her left ear when I watched the first test. The computer showed a little graph (nice bell shaped curve for the right ear, but just a flat line for the left ear ~ all three times.) Poor sweet Allie was SO nervous at this point - she kept telling them that it was going to be too loud. But the kind audiologist convinced her that the headphones would be quiet so Allie complied with the next portion of the exam. For each ear, they were playing different beeps that Allie was supposed to acknowledge, and then they would switch to words that Allie was supposed to repeat. Here's what I could hear Allie saying during the test:

"I hear you breathing."

"I hear some paper noise"

"I hear it." (must have started the beeps then, huh?)

Several "I hear its" and word repeats, and then I wondered if they had switched to her left ear because I started hearing Allie say:

"I hear it."

"Did you push it?"

"Are you pushing the button"

"I hear it."

"Did you say something"

"I think I should just be able to say I hear it," (rather than repeating the words) "because it's much simpler and that's the way we did it at kindergarten screening you know." (I could see the audiologist cracking up at the point!)

"I hear you breathing again."

"Your picture is falling down" (drawing taped to the wall had one corner hanging down."

and so on. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry (& was actually doing a little of both)

After the test, I learned that yes, her hearing in her left ear was still far below that of the right ear. She does have hearing in the ear though, thankfully, and through their various tests we know that her hearing loss is probably caused by blockage from remaining wax and possibly fluid. SO, we are on for her scheduled surgery on June 9th - they're going to go ahead and put tubes in her ears and do a more thorough job of wax removal, and after that she'll have another hearing test. This really is not what I was hoping for, but I am anxious to get it all overwith and get her hearing better.

The sweet thing about the effects of her ear cleaning that they did yesterday though, was that she was so excited about every new sound she was hearing! "I heard that door open!" I gave her a fruit snack package and she said, "Hey! This package makes a noise!" "This chair made a squeak - I heard it!" So sweet!

& guess what? She still loves me and still wants mommy to hold her and love on her. & for that I'm so thankful.